Thursday, May 17, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
today i'm running a bit, reading frank stanford's the battlefield where the moon says i love you, and watching Brazil and Gattica at Aggregate Space in West Oakland.
somewhere inside today i need to get to the library for some civil engineering books and work on the novel AND new poetry ms... but... you know... i'm not feeling rushed with either of these manuscripts right now. perhaps because i want a summer break.
no, i'm just a little stuck with the novel. a novel needs constant attention, i'm finding. i should have been born rich so i can write novels. born rich or less inclined to love.
somewhere inside today i need to get to the library for some civil engineering books and work on the novel AND new poetry ms... but... you know... i'm not feeling rushed with either of these manuscripts right now. perhaps because i want a summer break.
no, i'm just a little stuck with the novel. a novel needs constant attention, i'm finding. i should have been born rich so i can write novels. born rich or less inclined to love.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
hashimoto's disease
today is
better than yesterday?
yesterday i was feeling sick, like i was getting a cold. i couldn't work. i could barely get down the street to run an important errand. today i feel pretty good - biked 11 + miles and did 290 crunches - but heart palps have started.
wtf?
i did 50mcg one night, then 80 mcg the next [had to wait for pharmacy to get 75 mcg in stock], and nothing last night.
perhaps this fluctuation creates unpredictable heart patterns?
i do know now that all those days where i had the 24-hour sick feeling were very like thyroid hormone issues and not my immune system [in the cold/flu sense of the word] at all...
i'm pretty sick of these heart palps. maybe something i ate for breakfast triggered them. i need to learn more about hashi's and heart palps. i'd like to avoid beta blockers because it seem very odd to want to ignore yr own heartbeat.
right?
if anybody out there can explain in serious and ridiculous depth what the relationship between hashi's and heart palps... and what goes on in the heart... is and does...please feel free.
better than yesterday?
yesterday i was feeling sick, like i was getting a cold. i couldn't work. i could barely get down the street to run an important errand. today i feel pretty good - biked 11 + miles and did 290 crunches - but heart palps have started.
wtf?
i did 50mcg one night, then 80 mcg the next [had to wait for pharmacy to get 75 mcg in stock], and nothing last night.
perhaps this fluctuation creates unpredictable heart patterns?
i do know now that all those days where i had the 24-hour sick feeling were very like thyroid hormone issues and not my immune system [in the cold/flu sense of the word] at all...
i'm pretty sick of these heart palps. maybe something i ate for breakfast triggered them. i need to learn more about hashi's and heart palps. i'd like to avoid beta blockers because it seem very odd to want to ignore yr own heartbeat.
right?
if anybody out there can explain in serious and ridiculous depth what the relationship between hashi's and heart palps... and what goes on in the heart... is and does...please feel free.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
fiction
i ordered a copy of the new American Short Fiction and damn... it is so good. i'm especially in love with susan steinberg's signifier. [are short stories in italics or in quotation marks? i'm off work and don't want to double check]. it is poetry. "signifier" [that's for balance]. anyway, the issue gave me two things:
1. hope that i can get some of the novel into the world
2. a love of fiction i didn't know i had
how amazing is that? a journal gave me hope and love. weird. but it did. and i'm not exaggerating. i read 4 stories last night. that's not like me at all.
anyway, i think everyone should probably read signifier. it is human. it is experience. it gives the reader options but not really.
1. hope that i can get some of the novel into the world
2. a love of fiction i didn't know i had
how amazing is that? a journal gave me hope and love. weird. but it did. and i'm not exaggerating. i read 4 stories last night. that's not like me at all.
anyway, i think everyone should probably read signifier. it is human. it is experience. it gives the reader options but not really.
hashimoto's disease
so, i was on 88 mcg of tirosint for about 2 weeks and just couldn't stop my heart from beating so fast...
so i took myself off for 1 day and then did 2 days at 75 mcg [had some left over] and these three days have been optimal. however, i'm out of 75 mcg. so now i will go back to 88 mcg and see what happens. if my heart starts racing again i'll just have to get the doc to prescribe 75 mcg and go from there.
anyway. my energy is good, my heart is not racing, and i'm happy. it will be really obvious if 88 mcg doesn't work. [i kinda think it doesn't work for me already but i want to rule out other things first].
so i took myself off for 1 day and then did 2 days at 75 mcg [had some left over] and these three days have been optimal. however, i'm out of 75 mcg. so now i will go back to 88 mcg and see what happens. if my heart starts racing again i'll just have to get the doc to prescribe 75 mcg and go from there.
anyway. my energy is good, my heart is not racing, and i'm happy. it will be really obvious if 88 mcg doesn't work. [i kinda think it doesn't work for me already but i want to rule out other things first].
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