when i went up to read: RNB was an enormous fold-out map.
i tried to remember lines.
but, it was so jarring, i couldn't remember anything.
i just kept unfolding the book, trying to find what i had written.
i had another dream that i bought a giant house on Duke's East Campus.
i didn't run yesterday. when i came home to let my dogs out, walking up the stairs made my knee hurt. it feels like i am bruised. i don't see a bruise. i don't remember knocking into anything.
just racquet to face.
my lips are bruised. you can't see that.
maybe i bruise invisibly?
today i will endeavor to stay in the present for the entire day.
and. already i have failed.
[because i planned ahead of this moment. by planning the entire day.]
i can tell you that i did indeed write last night. i am working on something. a novel.
echo line echo
only, i can't like the way that looks.
i feel warm, today. it is 25 degrees outside. yesterday morning: 18.
i spoke with my father on the phone last night. he says that i'm wrong. he goes to bed at 10 and wakes up at 4:30.
but, when i say i go to bed at 9... i mean... i go to bed. i fall asleep around 10. and wake up... between 4:30 and 6:30. i think a lot. last night i not-thought a lot. i mostly watched myself thinking.
which means i need the two of me to become one.
do you follow this?