Tuesday, December 23, 2008

i had a dream last night that i was reading in SF. i was supposed to be reading from RNB, and it was a group reading... 6 writers... all i remember is Chris Vitiello was with me and reading there, too. 


when i went up to read: RNB was an enormous fold-out map. 

i tried to remember lines.

but, it was so jarring, i couldn't remember anything.

i just kept unfolding the book, trying to find what i had written.


i had another dream that i bought a giant house on Duke's East Campus.


i didn't run yesterday. when i came home to let my dogs out, walking up the stairs made my knee hurt. it feels like i am bruised. i don't see a bruise. i don't remember knocking into anything. 

just racquet to face.

my lips are bruised. you can't see that.

maybe i bruise invisibly?


today i will endeavor to stay in the present for the entire day.

and. already i have failed. 

[because i planned ahead of this moment. by planning the entire day.]


i can tell you that i did indeed write last night. i am working on something. a novel. 

tentatively called

echo   line    echo

only, i can't like the way that looks.





i feel warm, today. it is 25 degrees outside. yesterday morning: 18.


i spoke with my father on the phone last night. he says that i'm wrong. he goes to bed at 10 and wakes up at 4:30.

but, when i say i go to bed at 9... i mean... i go to bed. i fall asleep around 10. and wake up... between 4:30 and 6:30. i think a lot. last night i not-thought a lot. i mostly watched myself thinking. 

which means i need the two of me to become one.

do you follow this?

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