i am all discombobulated now.

yeah, yeah... totally happy snow and president, YES... but, damn if planning all these readings and the flights and where i'm staying and for how long and who will i see....

it is totally fun. and, discombobulating.

i've been yanked out of the present, violently, and it is really... troubling. i've given myself this 20 minute period in which to rant a little, and whine, and feel tired... and then, that's it. no more. enjoy. appreciate. be grateful. get back into my life, in the moment, etc.

i feel better already.

thanks!

i haven't worked on my novel since i got my computer back on Saturday. i think i've just had to spend some time catching up with my life... my communications... and getting back to myself. tomorrow night, after work, is for running 4 miles and eating a good meal and writing. i think i'll even shut the cell phone off.... and my e-mail notifications. 

i get to see my closest friends soon. i get to see my best friend in Feb, March, AND April... which probably hasn't happened since we were 19! maybe even before... i don't remember.

i get to make new friends. i get to hear & read a lot of great things. and see different cities. and how the poets are in them.

i need a haircut. badly. two reasons i have yet to get it cut:

1. last time, i left looking just like my brother.

2. i have to spend all my money on air fare [and... you know... bills]

my brother is a handsome fellow, but, hey ... i'm not.

i can be.

but.

i'm just not.

now. i think. i feel okay enough to go to bed. and sleep. not just lie there. wondering.

eh, i like being in PRESENT TENSE.

much much more.